In sessions with my clients we often talk about manipulation. True manipulation is about telling people what they want to hear instead of what you want them to hear. In the end, people will choose what they will choose but making them feel acknowledged may just get you what you want – it just won’t show up the way you think it will.
Yet people always want to know how to not be subjected to any manipulation thinking they are not in control when they are manipulated – when it’s exactly the opposite.
A manipulator has to give you want you want in order to get what they want. So when you are the one being manipulated you are actually in control of the situation.
On the other hand, if you are aware of the manipulation, you could consider that you are the one doing the manipulation.
Yes, it all may sound complicated but we have to look at the truth behind all of this. The manipulator cares enough about the person being manipulated to know what they need to hear AND to say it. And the person being manipulated cares enough about themselves and the other that by hearing what matters to them they want to do for someone else something that would potentially make the other person feel the same as they do – cared for.
So in the end, true manipulation is actually true caring. For ourselves and one another. How DOES it get any better than that?