You know that I am a big partisan of discomfort. In a few words, to create anything new in your life, you have to be uncomfortable. If it was comfortable, you would already be familiar with it, so you could not create anything new.

But sometimes the action that we think is uncomfortable is just down right not the one that would create the most.

So how do you differentiate between what is uncomfortable and what is just a really bad idea? You have to look into the future. It actually is a lot simpler than it sounds.

Let’s use some pragmatic examples, shall we?

Let’s say you meet someone to whom you are sexually attracted. You really want to call them but you get that emotion in your body and can’t differentiate if it is excitement or doubt. Those two emotions actually hide awareness so we need to go further than that. You need to ask a question. First, you have to get the energy of what you would like to create. Even if you have a short lived relationship with this person, they could still lead you to the long term relationship you are seeking. So get the energy of what you are choosing to create: one night of crazy sex, intimate passionate sex for a few months, long term relationships with some kind of commitment, you pick. Get it in every single cell of your body. Now ask: if I choose to call this person, what would it create? You will not get a cognitive answer. It will either feel like more possibilities opened up or less possibilities are now available. You can now choose according to that awareness instead of what your mind (or hormones) say.

Please understand that no choice is wrong. Even if you end up making the choice that creates less possibilities you are now aware of what it’s like to make that choice. This is awareness you can use next time you make a choice.

Also look at the fact that sometimes discomfort and a bad idea will look the same but not create the same. You still get to call up that person and meet with them (or mate with them if you would prefer). You will still feel nervous or unsure.

And since this example if about relationships, you have to consider the fact that it is never about the other person. You can always create more with another person. What gets in the way are our expectations, stories, judgments and decisions about that person. You may have decided that you need to sleep with that person when in reality this person will be the business partner you have been asking for, or vice versa.

It may take you a few tries to be aware of the differences between uncomfortable or a bad idea but if you DO NOT JUDGE yourself in the process, it will be a fun ride (wink, wink).