I tend to feel things fully. If I get upset, it will not be rare that I go all the way to “what’s the point of living”. And if I am happy, I will create a lot of things really fast and make a lot of people laugh.
Some people may read this and think “she is bipolar” or “she should go see a therapist”.
Well, the thing is I actually like this intensity of emotions, it works for me. AS LONG AS I DON”T MAKE IT SOLID.
I have been feeling intense energy for a long time. So I know that neither one are permanent. They tend to last longer if I resist them but if I give in it will take just a few minutes to come back to a less intense way of being.
This intensity is actually energy and if I don’t make it solid it will give me a lot of awarenesses and will allow me to create bigger and beyong anything I could imagine.
I will give you an example. When I was 17 years old I decided I wanted to be a film director. I took my camera and made a lot of films. Then I decided to go to film school. I applied 3 times before I could get in. The first two times I tried to show them how good I was. The third time, I described the most dramatid experience I had that included violence and I spilled all the fear and emotion I had about an incident onto the paper. I got in. The intensity of my emotions were what was required for me to enter one of the top film schools in the world.
When I facilitate workshops I can get intense too. I am intensely present with all of the energies which allows me to be intensely aware.
People always tell me I am a psychic, I just don’t push away the intense awareness anymore. I receive it completely.
What could you create in your life if you choose to receive the intensity?