I was walking down the street with my sister on a normal day after school. She was telling me about something funny that happened that day. I laughed freely like I always do, and she asked me to not be as loud.
I don’t remember what was funny but I do remember that she asked me to laugh less loudly.
This was not the first time someone was uncomfortable with how happy and free I was but it is, to this day, the moment that for some reason got locked into me.
I was not supposed to be too loud. If I wanted people I love to love me back I had to be not be so happy. At least, that’s what I concluded after that moment.
The good news is I am a little rebellious and usually if you tell me not to be or do something I will “accidentally” be or do it. Oops 🙂
So I continued laughing very loud. In fact sometimes it feels like I am the loudest laugher in the room. My laugh also became this very funny, very weird sound that is similar to a sealion’s calling. My kids even make fun of it. And my sister would probably be even more embarassed now if I laughed like that while walking with her in the street.
I am not mad at those who thought I should not be so happy that I was loud. I just realize they are uncomfortable with it because it would mean they would be noticed. They did not anyone to notice them. I did not care if people noticed me and I often wished people would laugh with me but that’s a whole other story.
People don’t really have a problem with how weird I am they just are insecure and don’t want to look bad. So next time someone is supposedly ashamed of you and your laughter, just know it has nothing to do with you.